So this happened quite a while ago when I was in college so my memory of these events are sketchy at best and I may be merging two events together, but for now ima call it as I see it cause I don't especially feel the need to cater to anyone.
I had just gotten out of class and was at my place eating ramen noodles and talking on msn to my good friend NewfChick. A little intro to NewfChick is in order I would suppose. This girl is hot, like really hot, tall slender, great rack but there was something else about her, the way she carried herself. Most girls with her appearence arent even close to being as boisterous, offensive and can handle her booze better than most winos. So she mentiones having people over tonight and she wants to get hammered(what else is new with her). I'm thinking this is a particularly great idea as I just failed a test of something and wanted to get drunk as balls. I go to the booze store and decided on my poison....gin, and alot of it. The night begins.
I start slamming the drinks into me and eventually my buddies sombitch and legs come over and join in the festivities. They see my large bottle of hard stuff and well I assume their heads exploded, nah they just knew Rob was getting drunk tonight. 7 or 8 drinks later we are ready to go out. They went to the local watering hole while I went over to NewfChicks. Psycho-J(who isnt psycho at all, just an inside joke) usually wanted me to burn her music so I brought over some cds, and put them in. There were a few people at a the place and most of whom probably didn't like me, whatever like I need to be the center of attention, ha. Well after about another 5 drinks socializing about random stupid shit we played drinking games. Yeah thats a smart idea, I would have been down over half done the 40 and at this point im pretty sure Ive made a complete ass outta myself. So me and NewfChick are loaded as hell singing irish tunes at the top of our lungs. Thats pretty much the last memory I have of that night. Then I woke up.
To understand how fucked I was you have to get the layout of the town I was in. Miramichi is split into 3 parts, Chatham is on the south side of the river, Douglastown is directly across and then about a 10 minute drive away is Newcastle, with several little neighborhoods in between. I lived in Chatham, I woke up almost in Newcastle. I was jolted awake by very cold water on my face and body and the snow recently melted so I don't believe the ground was dry to begin with. This old guy was spraying me in the face with a hose yelling something about calling the cops and how I ruined his flowers. At this point I am confused as hell, I have no shoes on and some douchebag is yelling at me. I'm on my feet and he is still spraying me and yelling something about his flowers. I venture on the road and yell "WHAT! WHAT ABOUT YOUR FLOWE....oh" I see the flowers by his house torn up and strung across the lawn. This guy was still yelling at me, so I did what any self respecting drunk would do, asked him where my shoes were. Well angry old guy had enough of this and started chasing me, thus starting my long walk of shame home.
On the way back I stopped in at Psycho-J and NewfChick's place and got my shoes. Apparently I said I was going home and left my shoes, I dunno. Lesson learned, gin is the enemy and I slept with it.
-Rob
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