Captain Asshole: a true story...

I posted this story on my band's blog a while back. it belongs here as well.
The only thing false in this story is the girl's name. whenever it is brought up,
i pick one. last time i told this, she was "tammy". this time, "sherry":

somewhere shortly after highschool time, 2 friends
of mine (linz and mike)and myself were invited to a party we
didn't particularly wish to attend, but didn't want to offend
the person who invited us, so we got some beer and went.
there. the girl who invited us was the only person we knew, so
we stuck together near the most comfortable wall and kept to
ourselves. as we were digging into our beer, we witnessed an
obvious tart, who's name i don't recall at the moment, so for
the sake of the story, i'll call her "sherry", making her
rounds and introducing herself to everyone there. nothing
wrong with that. it was the way that the party was just in
the first half hour and she was so shittered that she was
having trouble walking, speaking, and keeping her cleaveage
and belly from flubbing out of her shirt and over her belt.
and mostly, it was the way she spoke. loudly, and as though
absolutely everything was utterly HILARIOUS!!! we knew she'd
make it to us sooner or later. she did.
she stumbled over to us, and hit us up clockwise:

tart: *drunken valley girl accent* "HAHAHAHA! I HAVEN'T MET
YOU YET! HAHA! I'M SHERRY! WHAT'S YOOOOOUUUUUR NAAAME?! HAHA!"
linz: "they call me lo-brow."
tart: "HAHAHA! WHY DO THEY CALL YOU THAT?...HAHA!"
linz: *scowls at her, with one brow down*
tart: "......OH..........KAAAAAAAAAAAAAY......."

*goes to mike*
tart: "HAHAHAHA! I HAVEN'T MET
YOU YET! HAHA! I'M SHERRY! WHAT'S YOOOOOUUUUUR NAAAME?! HAHA!"
mike: "they call me kanga."

tart: "HAHAHA! KANGA?!...HAHA! WHY DO THEY CALL YOU THAT?...HAHA!"
mike: "because that's my nickname."
tart: "...OH..........KAAAAAAAAAAAAAY.....I GUESS....."

*comes my way*
tart: "HAHAHAHA! AND THEN YOU! HAHA! I'M SHERRY! WHAT'S YOOOOOUUUUUR NAAAME?! HAHA!"
me: "they call me Captain Asshole!"
tart: "HAHAHA! CAPTAIN ASSHOLE?!?!...HAHA! WHY DO THEY CALL YOU THAT??!..."
me: "WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF?!?"

she didn't think it was as funny as we did. she gave a blank
look as linz and mike burst out laughing, and then she ran off
to tell everyone at the party how mean we were to her, and
we were asked to leave and not come back. we were ok with that. feel free to let us know what YOU think.

-Sleeve-