I am a hate-fucking whore!... but drunk!

okay, so we've all done things we're not proud of. i am no exception.
i have done some stupid things. let me tell you of one stupid thing i
have done. and she was stupid.

back story: a friend of mine dated this girl that none of us liked. at first
it was becuase she was stupid. sorry, but stupid people are fucking annoying!
the more we got to know her, the more we disliked her. not just the stupid thing,
but she also had a problem with drugs and alcohol. while i admit to being a
lush-puppie, she was still beyond this. always waaaaaaaay too drunk and completely
out of control. there is rarely a time when this girl didn't have to be baby-sat.
aside from that, she was also prone to trying to makeout with us. yeah, her boyfriend's
best friends! not cool! i did not like this girl at all. we expressed this with our
friend, and like we all do when our friends warn us about a girl, he continued dating
her.

she tried to make out with not only me several times, but with a few other of our
friends and this was a trend with her. it did not stop until one day, a little less
drunk than i'm used to seeing her, she confronted me about the snarky way in which
i always talk to her. she asked "do you hate me?...", to which i replied, rather quickly
i might add, "yes! i do! you're an irritating twat, and you try to fuck every guy in the
city, including your fucking boyfriend's best friends!!!" she looked like she was going to
cry, and didn't say a word. she turned and left me alone, and that was the way i preferred it.
occasionally i'd see her in the mall or at a party and she'd give me a dirty look, and i would
return it as fast as i could muster, but she left me alone for several years after my friend
finally dumped her for falling asleep fuck-tard-loaded with a lit cigarette and burning
a huge hole in his bed and almost the apartment down.

forward a bit:
some pals and i are enjoying a usual night of indulgences at my place before we head to the
pub, and guess who's at the frickin' bar... yeh, it's her. from here on in, i'm going to call
her "damage". so, we drinks fer a while without her annoyance. she and i had gotten quite
used to avoiding each other in public situations. until she hears that i've invited half
the bar (half the bar tonite is roughly 25-35 people)to my place for an after party.
this bothered her because she was the only one NOT INVITED! she tried to play it cool though:

damage: "uh, hey steve."
me: "..."
damage: "i hear you're having a party after the bar..."
me: "... so?!..."
damage: "are you going to invite me?"
me: "why would i do that?"

at that point, i turned around and walked away. yeah, it's mean, but i hated her.

anyway, you all know where this story is going, and yes, she did follow someone to my
place. she was sneaky about it, and i didn't spot her for over an hour into our afterness.
the crowd turned into roughly 10 or 15 when people started going home, and this gave me
less to worry about as far as making sure nothing went horribly wrong. apart from what i
got up to. it's my place. screw it! i decided i was going to confront her:

me: "...so... what the fuck are you doing here?..."
damage: "i'm sorry, i just really wanted to come too..."
me: "and you'll be leaving now?"
damage: "... do you hate me?"
me: "yup!"
damage: "i've hated you ever since you started being mean to me."
me: "uh huh."
damage: "why do you hate me so much?..."
me: "you're usually way to drunk to tolerate, and someone has to babysit you constantly,
you don't take no for an answer and you repeatedly cheated on (friend's name)!"
damage: "i know... ok, i can leave if you really want me to."
me: "good!"

she just stared at me for a moment, then out of nowhere, pounces in and tries to makeout with
my face! i kind of shoved her and said "what the hell are you doing?..."
she stared again, and then this conversation happens:

damage: "i've always thought you were sexy..."
me: "what?! fuck off!"
damage: "... can't you just pretend you don't hate me for one night, and we can fuck?!...
i won't tell anyone..."
me: (loaded and hadn't had any action in a few months)"whatever. go in that room, and
i'll get some beer!"

yeh, i'm an idiot, but there it is. as simple as a guarantee. i didn't have to play around.
i didn't have to wonder if things could lead to sex. i didn't have to try. i took it.
i designated a good friend of mine to take over as host of my (now his) party. my roommate
was away, and i sent damage into that room. i told my friend he could have my room, keep whoever he
wanted over, and i'd be "busy fucking, fucking drinking, and drinking and fucking" (my actual words). yeh, i'm charming!

so, here's where it gets funnier to me. i bring what's left from my case of beer, 5 or 6 maybe,
i'm not really sure, and a colt 45 looking big beer called bull (i think that's what it was called).
i open the tall fella and take a big swig, set it down on my roommate's nightstand, and get
right to business. i didn't even take off her clothes. well, her panties, but otherwise, all
on. i flipped her hippie skirt up, and went to town in my most self indulgent sexual romp ever.
and i mean ever. i normally care about pleasing my partner, but in her case, i didn't give
a shit!
i just acted like her cervix severly pissed my dick off, and he wanted to beat the hell out
of it!

so, after i finished, i went back to my tall fella, and lit a smoke. yes, people actually do that.

damage asks me for a cig and a beer, and feeling pleased with the sex, and my drunken state,
i decided i would be a little nice. i said "go for it, but the skirt comes off!".
we drank and smoked and after a couple trips to the bathroom, fucked again, this time with
her on top. i was getting sloppy, but it was still good, from what i remember.

i woke up to her sucking me dick. nothing wrong with that! great way to wake up! we fucked
again, and had a smoke. we didn't talk much. i check the state of my beer and cigs.
she drank most of the regular sized beer, presumably while i slept, and smoked at least
half of my cigarettes! no dice!

me: "you know, those beer and smokes cost me money!"
damage: "... i know, i'm sorry!"
me: "sorry doesn't put my beer in my mouth or give me nicotine!"
damage: "well, i can go buy you some more. i didn't mean to make you mad..."
me: "well, you did! when i said 'go for it', i didn't mean ALL OF IT! just leave
me the money!"
damage: "FINE! asshole!"

she gathered her shit, dug in her purse, and angrily threw $30 on the nightstand.
how fucking funny is that! so, basically i just fucked a girl i absolutely
hated, and made her pay me for it! i come cheap though. at only 10 bucks a pop, i
am pretty low class. of course, i was already low class!

-Sleeve-