Pimp T/Curbside tour/GHETTO COUNT/mushrooms

Pimp T/Curbside tour/GHETTO COUNT

an old story, but a goodie. i lost this when my temp website went down.
two warnings before you start:

1. this is long, and funny! i posted this on forum i frequent whenever i could find internet access while on a short maritimes tour with pimp tea and associates. but long. pack a lunch!

2. in this one, i sometimes refer to myself as "collide" instead of steve. it's my stage name, and
this was a tour for my music.

well, it started before i even left...

during the pre-tour "wootness", i managed to come down with
strepthroat. great way to start a tour as a vocalist! to cure this, i borrowed
penicilin from beth so i wouldn't have to go to a doctor. (ghetto 1)
then it was off to charllotown, p.e.i. somewhere past scoudouc, we
point our eyes at a girl just off to the right...yes, she was,
in fact, playing 4-wheeler front lawn golf. (ghetto 2)
we later finally get across that long bridge and get to the best
damn skatepark you ever did see. yup. a couple sheets of plywood
leaned against a picnic table. the place was actually called
"crapaud skatepark". (ghetto 3)
then we found the venue (myrons), ate mozza sticks, drank beer and played
our show. then we head to a karaoke bar (velvet underground)to sing "bust a move" by young mc. i'm there right now. Pimp Tea and Scout did that song well by adding freestyles in between the verses. i'll be back to further the story later.

props to megs for inspiring the ghetto count.
oh, the boys are gettin' back up. later.

at the karaoke bar, we met 4 potatoes. these ladies was rippin' up
the dance floor. (ghetto 4)these were some hoochies.
scout found a plastic leg on the ground (about the size of a
4 year old's), so we attached it to the roof of the van.(ghetto 5)
it hasn't fallen off yet. after rockin' the karaoke, we head outside
with the notion of furthering the party. we kidnapped 5 girls and
some dude that was with one of 'em. (ghetto 6)"nah, we're safe.
we're just gonna take you to the beach and we're gonna party.
we pack up 3 cars and a motorcycle and head to...a bootlegger.
(ghetto 7)she was a sweet old lady in her mid forties. she sold
us 3 cases of beer and some vodka. we head to the beach. two of
us turn into a lean-to made of a blanket(ghetto 8). the rest
work on a fire. success!! all is well for a bit, except the
winds were nearing break-neck speed, so the tent kept blowing
away. solution? "let's tie it to the van!" (ghetto 9)
we later named the wind "hurricane juan". all is well, and the
party continues. one of the two art students,(the random guy)
is too lazy and drunk to go get a stick for meddling with the fire, so he uses his fingers
to push the embers around.......(ghetto 10). "JESUS, YOU MORON!!!."
so, he burns his fingers very badly. he had to be taken to
the hospital, so we lost half the party due to drives. 4 of the
girls and the art student are off. we clean up our mess on the beach
and put our fire out and attempt to sleep. "damn you hurricane juan!!!!!!!"
very loud and shaky tent. sleep. next day(today) will
come next net access.

DAY TWO: the sun was up when we finally passed out. hurricane juan
had let up a bit...alot. that's when we found the potato. yes, a
potato. it was lying on the beach. "who doesn't bring a raw potato
to the beach?" (ghetto 11) we notice just to the right of the tent
that this beach has a porta-potty. but it's on it's side. so, of
course, we have to have a photo with scout using it. (ghetto 12)
we wake up one of the girls we kidnapped who slept in the van
with pimp tea and head for dirtbag breakfast. we go to a place
that has five dollar whatever and have a seat...there are two
parties of 4 people eating stuff that looked ok and made us
hungrier...no service.......no staff.....huh?....."does anyone
work here?".......no one even told us it would be a couple minutes.
nothin'. we walk around the place a bit, look behind a counter, a
corner, and nothin. no staff. (ghetto 13)
so, naturally, we dicide that it might be a good idea to go
somewhere where they have employees. we go to "checkers" for the
dirtbag. AWESOME! the staff there was pleasant and very adament
in refilling our coffees every two minutes. WOOT!
we head to a skatepark so scout and rory can stretch their legs.
after that, it's time for scout to change his underwear....
IN THE PARK! (ghetto 14) he went behind a tree and we all
laughed at the fact he was doing this, which was only all
the more hightened in hilarity when he comes back stating
"AAAAWWWWW, MAN! I STEPPED IN DOG SHIT....IN MY BARE FEET!"
(ghetto 15) we start heading off to helltown. we contemplated
stopping at a farm to steal a potato, but we were workin' on
a schedule and didn't want to miss the ferry. goodbye p.e.i.
we'll miss ye. we get to ferry terminal and turn our heads to
the left to see a lobster restaurant. it has a giant lobster
on the top of it that states in very large letters,
"crabby's". (ghetto 16) the only really ghetto story from
the ferry was a sign (yes, ON the ferry) advertising the
ferry. it said "why not take the ferry?" (ghetto 17)
after the ferry we hit the highway again, and after a while
our heads turn left......"what the FUCK was THAT?!?!?!? turn
around! that was creepy as FUCK!" we pull up to a lawn full
of fake people made of trash and maniquin pieces...and, we
suspect, parts from victims. and they're moving!!! there's an
old guy sittin' and waitin' for people to show up so he can
turn on the music. this was interesting, but very creepy.
the only thing creepier than the fake people (yeah, we have
photos)was the real person. we suspect some of his wife
is stored in a toolshed out back. (no ghetto here, just
creepyness)
we stop at a wendy's and tim horton's for coffee, food
and a break from being in the van, and we all chow down.
scout adds a 'flurry' to his meal, and a cookie to his
flurry, and half of his coffe to his cookie and flurry.
(ghetto 18)
we hit dartmouth to a dj's house who was lettin' us crash
there after the show. we thought he wasn't home as he
wasn't answering his door or his phone...we go around back.
"cool. this place is stylin'" dude: "oh, hey guys. did you
knock? sorry, i didn't hear the door. i was just shavin'
my head on the deck." (ghetto 19)we drink the leftover
bootlegger beer and prepare for the show. the show opened
up with some local helltown dudes. they were good. we played
our show at the khyber and rip it up. the sound wasn't the
greatest and we didn't get paid, but the turnout was allright,
and we all had fun. my throat is getting far much worse tho.
after the show we head to stage 9 to see skratch bastid.
then, it's off to our perspective sleepin' spots. i went
to mike's (sj baby)place for the devil. we finish off the
quart of sambuca we shared at around 4 or five while watching 'basketcase'.
the elusive first of the series. i forgot to add a p.e.i.
ghetto to the story, so i'll take it out of it's
chronological order: we see a parking meter with a
piece of cardboard taped to it that states, and i quote
"metre does not work!" (ghetto 20) mike breaks a chair
(ghetto 21)and decides it's time for pasta...in which
he burns his thumb on the stove. (ghetto 22) then a
haunting image of that idiot art students horribly burned,
bubbling, blistered, melted plastic looking fingers from
the beach incident hit's the mind...sleep.
day 3 later....

Day 3, with a message to Pimp Tea, Rory Borealis, Scout and Mickey D:

the message: if i miss any ghettoness, add it in as a later number. we can
all forgive, i hope.

Day 3:
day 3 started with mike(kanga) breakin' another chair. he now has only one.(ghetto 23)
and then it was some coffe....no cream, no sugar...i normally use both. so does mike.(ghetto 24)
we catch up some, then it's off for some dirtbag breaky food. we hit a place called "ce si bon"
which we found amusing. in english, a resteraunt called "this is good" would probably not
do as well. the waitress was hot, and pleasant. breaky was good, and they kept our
coffee steady. (they could tell) mike eventually went to work, and i went back to the khybur
to meet the crew. now, it's off to antigonish, NS to set up our tents at evolve and sleep(yeah,
right) before leaving for sydney, only to come back.....yup. pretty much, uh, yeah.
before we can leave helltown, we must hit ckdu(halifax campus radio) to drop off play copies of our cd's. pimp tea,
mickey d, and myself head there while rory and scout go to the skatepark where they would
wait for us to come pick them up. we dropped off and shit and head back, stopping to
sit on the giant nuts of what looked like a grotesque penis with sputtering ghonasyphiherpeles...
gross. this statue was purposely donated to the university and for some reasone...accepted.
so, we figured "if theres ever been a time to stop and ponder your life, it's while sitting on
some balls....." back to the skate park. some 14 year old kid fell while attempting a trick, and broke
his arm badly. it was bent in the wrong direction (injury count up to 3). i shudder at the thought.
he was a tough kid though. he screamed "fuck" for a while, then calmed down (partially due
to shock, we think). scout walked him to the hospital. so after this, it's time for more highway. scout pulls out a box of delightfulness. the "dj-x". this box can do a lot of things. most important for 5 hip hop artists in a van, spit out beats. we each did some written stuff, then we start on with the freestyle. we do this for 2 or 3 hours, switching off, and stuff. we finally make it to evolve. the guys at every gate misdirected us as to where to go if we are performers for the festival, "just go that way and sharon (who we think was a dude) will show you where the artists are parked..." "yeah, just go back where you were a couple of times
and they'll show you where you need to be..." (ghetto 25) organized, they were not.
we decide "fuck it." and just park down by "the renegade stage". we put up our tent there
as well, and wander the grounds to get our bearings, see where all the stages are, and
see who's partying. there was very little musical anything going on, as no stages were open,
so we brought the dj-x and found......"NEW BRUNSWICK". awesome. a loud, drunken, familliar
voice shot out over anything else that was goin' on...."HEY, SHTEEEVE!! IT'S TONY AND
STEPPHAANNNNEE!! COME HAVES A SOME BEER WITH US!!!..." cool. we were at
home. well, we were at a shanty-town that represented our home in new brunswick.
(most of what is to come cannot be added to the ghetto count as this is an outdoor
music festival with camping involved. at evolve, the ghetto count can only be measured
by special ghetto things, and actions.) we join the new brunswick crew and drink, jabber,
and freestyle for hours. at one point, tony, mid sentence, says "yeah, you guys ar....
*his eyes roll back in his head, and he falls - dead weight - into a pile of empty beer cans*
he turns out to be ok. with a quart of vodka, we convince mickey d that he is a freestyle
god. and he is. i've never before been so impressed by a freestyle. he is fast, clever
and on point. we started saying random words at him and he would throw them in
without skippin' a beat. we'd interject after a while every now and then (scout and myself).
rory and pimp tea joined a coupla times as well before headin' to sleep. at one point,
mickey d went on for a full half hour without stopping. it was absolutely crazy.
we partied new brunswick style until the sun came up and then off to sleep.
day 4 comin' next. (i'm home now, so i can prolly do day 4 up tonite.)

Day 4:

we started this one by getting kicked out of the campgrounds. no, we didn't do anything
wrong. they have to do this. they kick everyone out because the festival hasn't started yet, and
they have no clue who already has passes. you are allowed to leave your tents, tho, so we
moved our tent from the renegade stage to new brunswick so we could be with familiar
folk. then we headed to the main gate for our passes. again, we get misdirected. (ghetto 26)
still not organized enough to know where to send the bands for passes, as opposed to
the people with tickets to get their bracelets. we finally get them after running back and
forth for a while, and a game of frisbee. finally, a pass for collide...oh, wait. they spelled
me wrong. (ghetto 27) a pass for "collid". we all laughed and joked and such then went for
breakfast nearby before heading to sydney for our next show. breakfast was good, but some
of the other's meals came with desert included, so i thought "yeah, desert = yummy."
"what do you have for ice cream?"....the answer i got was, "a place down the road". which
i thought was funny. then, she says, "we don't sell much ice cream here, so we just have
sundays of either vanilla or chocalate. no selection." so, i buy a chocolate sunday.
she comes back with one of those little cups that you use to hold your boiled egg for cracking...
i'll give her credit tho, she FILLED it. HAHAHAHA! (ghetto 28) two spoonfuls of that and it was gone.
it cost me 2 bucks plus tax. i felt used.
it may just be a bad memory, but i don't recall anything all too memorable happening
on the way to sydney, but when we got there, i found a broom fit for a witch, so we (of course)
attached it to the van. (ghetto 29) then we bought lanyards (those things that you hang your
passcard at work on around your neck) for our passes and look around value village, wal mart
and the dollar store for a bit. then we head to the venue. we arrived at the maple leaf lounge,
where they have a sign out front stating "summer time hours, daily specils" (ghetto 30).
inside, we had to rearange to set up, and when scout picked up the lamp, it came into
two pieces. (ghetto 31) the place was empty for a while, so we put one of the speakers
outside on the sidewalk and danced on the road for a while. a car drove by and threw a
drink from wendy's at rory. (ghetto 32) a guy who organizes shows in the valley showed
up and recognized curbside prawjek, and gave me a can of keith's to drink on the sidewalk
with him, so, me being me, i did. (ghetto 33) we played our show, and it was awesome.
we rocked the hell outta that little place. then, we did a bunch of shots and headed back
to evolve, where we, once again, drank until the sun came up. day 5 comes later.

sidenote from pimptea:
In the meantime, I thought I'd add that while in Halifax, an errant pass of the frisbee managed to nail one of the two wildlife warning system thingies stuck to my roof and break it. So I had to buy a new pair in Sydney, but their dollar store had a different variety. So now I have two different old wildlife warning things on each side of the roof of the van... collide, does this warrant a ghetto count? -pimp tea-

yes. (ghetto 34) and sorry Pimp, i'm a bad throw. i'll be more
careful with those dangerous things from now on. day 5 comin'
up tonite.

Day 5: (DEVOLVE FESTIVAL)
Yeah, sure. everyone has probably made that joke already, what with the
"no beds", and the "no hot water", etc. etc. etc.....anywho, we wake up after about 2
hours of sleep and take the tarp off of our tent in case any hot girls without tops on
come walkin' past...they did. "WOOT!" then we speak of breakfast:
scout(i think it was scout): "you must be hungry"
collide: "actually, i'm on a hunger strike.....and it's strikin' me fukkin' hard right now. pass me my ghetto cheese..." *reaching into a box of no name brand pizza pockets*
mickey d: "how you gonna cook those?..."
collide: "i'm not." *chomping into uncooked pocketty goodness* (ghetto 35)
half of new brunswick: "awwww..."
then we go to find which stage we're playin' on......"oh, the 'roots stage'? where's that?
i don't think i recall seein' that one..." (exactly) so, after we've exhausted every diplomatic effort at finding the thing, a large greasy woman shows me where it is....yeah, it's basically a very wobbly, shab-assed sheet of plywood on the dirt raised about 4 inches with planks.
so, we had to perform on the dirt in order not to harm the steadiness of the turntables.
(ghetto 36) locdogjr spins records and mixes and scratches for a bit, then it's time.
pimp tea and rory do a song (super dude) and i do two of mine (that road and
freakin' you) and near the end of freakin', the system breaks. yeah, that's right. we killed
at evolve. (hee hee) so, the dude who's there only to watch the equipment won't let
us fix it, and we can't continue our sets............locdogjr: "hey collide, me and mickey d
are going to take a drive into town and buy more beer if you wanna come with..."
(we all know my answer, so i'm not going to bother.) we get about halfway to the town
of antigonish when we spot 2 guys on the side of the road. this normally does not turn
our heads, but one is lying on his face and the other is waving his arms frantically.
we waited past several cars that just passed by, and crossed an intersection to see
if we could help. two hot ladies in another car also stopped. (alright!) these guys had
been partying all nite and hitchhiking for hours. it was an extremely hot day and they
had walked a long way. the poor guy had heat stroke it would seem. they were carrying
heavy bags as well. the girls gave them a 4 litre jug of water, and we did what any good
person would do. we put them in our car and drove them about a half an hour in
the opposite direction from where they were going. this was at first just a mistake.
but they did benefit quite a bit from the water, the sitting, the nap they both had in
the car, and the sweet sweet air conditioning. they gave us each a beer for being
nice to them. they had a bookbag full of rum also. they offered rum to drive them
all the way they were going, but we bought ice to go along with our beer which would
have melted by the time we got there so we had to decline. don't worry people. we did
drive them back to where we picked them up in the first place, air conditioned, with more
water, and bellies full of hamburgers. we're not monsters. (um....) anywho,
we head back to the festival. we spend the rest of the afternoon drinking beer and
smoking cigarrettes, until.......*incidental music* "THROY!!!"
"SOMEONE TOLD ME YOU WERE HERE! you're eating mushrooms with me, right?..."
"....YEAH!"
this was at around 4:30. mushroom story later. (still day 5)

Day 5 Continues...:
"HANSEL AND GRETEL DISCOVERED THE GINGERBREAD HOUSE.....
ABOUT 45 MINUTES AFTER THEY DISCOVERED THE MUSHROOMS!!!" -George Carlin-

so, let's see. where did we leave off?...oh, yeah. "you're eating mushrooms with me, right?"
"YEAH!" so, first we sit in "new brunswick" (i think i'll stop using quotes for that)
and drink beer for a while. i supplied throy with beer so he could avoid walking to his tent
and he could pay me back later. after a while, we decide we want to check out the
rheostatics. they were enjoyable. we snuck beer into the main stage area and kept
refilling our cups.(we can't bring cans to the main stage because much music is filming,
and they don't want to have to pay royalties for accidentally showing beer logos) we
smile at greg hemmings, who's in front going back and forth on his camera aparatus
filming the show. hard working dude. i'm proud of him. he's in a good spot, and making
money doing something he loves. anywho, after the rheostatics, we break off back down
to the ghetto stage(roots) to see skratch bastid. by now, they had fixed the system
and more people are aware that this area exists. skratch was cool. he has a new trick
that really impressed me. he starts to play 'flashlight' by funkadelic, then switches to
'another brick in the wall' by pink floyd for a minute, then he goes back to 'flashlight' and
turns the first melody of flashlight in the theme of 'another brick' by pink floyd using only the tones from 'flashlight'. impressive. but we're running out of beer. "to the new brunswicktorium!"
locdog let me use his cooler, so we stashed the warm beer there to get cold, and took
the cold beer with us to drink. (yeah, we're BRILLIANT!!) we run into some other cats
from home and join them at their tent for a while. they're playing chess, which was a
breath of fresh air adding to all the breaths of fresh air. throy gets the beer he owes me
and we hang out with kevin , krause and two matts for a while. they offer me a cooler to
keep my beers in while we're there. after a while, we decide we'd (throy and i)like to check
out this waterfall we keep hearing about. we grab a few beers for the road, and start off.
"where better to eat a handful of mushrooms than in nature?.......exactly." it starts...
we pick up a couple of strays along the way, and start to get impatient..."hey, let's eat."
we stop several times to make disgusted faces like our skin is covered in burdocks, and
wash it down with more beer(naturally). it was kind of a long walk, so by the time we get
there, we're 3 weeks from left wednesday. (yes. that's what i meant)
we are greeted by THE most gorgeous, tall, naked french girl you ever did see.
down in the water, the second most gorgeous, less tall, more naked french girl
soaping herself up. Throy is bent on taking a dip. i'm just bent. i sit on a log, open a beer,
and continue snacking on mushrooms. the waterfall and swimming hole were quite
lovely, but the highlite for me, being a leacherous pervert, was the ladies.

i forget who: "are you going to swim?"
me: "nah, i'm not much of a swimmer. i'm more of a lurker....mushrooms?!?"

so, throy gets out, and the sun is setting. it's time to leave the woods before we
can't see our path out. we get lost for a minute, because we figured that even though
the path was staight, we weren't, so it might have changed. many jokes were made,
though i don't recall most of them on the walk back. we ate more shrooms and drank
more beer. then it's off to throy's tent so we can get his flashlight and sweater, so
we can find my tent, and my flashlight and sweater. we can't find his flashlight, so
we hand throy off to two hot girls who had recently camped next to throy(he didn't mind)
for the use of their flashlight.
me: "wait. throy? did we inadvertantly give away and completely abandon 2 seperate
piles of beer to random people?...."
throy: "oh, fawk (he actually prounounced it like that). the beers... go. GO!! YOU HAVE FLASHLIGHT, WILL TRAVEL! i'm collateral here. get beer."
after promising the girls i would return their flashlite, i am off.
i tripped over a few tents, and bumped into a few people, but nothin' nasty. must empty
bladder. waiting for the porta-potty was okay, because of all the glow sticks and shiny
things to stare at. like the inside of my soul. a dude starts walking over to me, and i didn't recognize him, so i backed away for a second. he hugs me.

random dude: "MAN! you look so HAPPY!"
me:(at the peak of cleverness...i'm proud of this one) "i AM happy. i thought you mistook me for a porta potty. quite frankly i'm relieved. vacant, yes! but not a toilet!"

he flashes me a grin and the gun and off he goes. i use the disgusting things and i'm back on my mission. i find kevin, krause and the matts. they still have the beer. "HUZZAH!"
i managed to find new brunswick without trouble as i had now been there so many times,
it had become 2nd nature. i checked on my beer. colder than the throy beer. the ol'
switcheroo. i was delighted noone had drank any. well, i'm off work again, so i'll hafta
continue later. it was the longest, and most fun day of the whole tour. much more mushrooms...

Day 5 Cont...(again):
THE MUSHROOM CLOUDED COLLIDE
So, after switching the beers, grabbing my sweater and my booklight, which
i attached to my belt for double fistin' beer drinkin' action, it's off to find throy again.
throy's tent was more difficult for me, as i was only there twice. once was during the day,
the other, at nite on fungus. i tripped (pun intended) along to around 27 wrong tents, and
even sat with a few people before realizing that i didn't know them and they were, in fact,
not throy. (a lot of people at evolve have dreads and beards, as does throy, and i am loaded
and fucked on mushrooms) so, i had conversations like this:

me: "can i rock a flashlight or what?!?" (sitting next to some dude who looks
similar to throy, but whom i've never met)
not throy: "yeah, that thing is pretty cool. what is that? a book light? good idea puttin'
it on your belt like that."
me: (opening a beer and realizing that i don't know this dude) "beer?..."
not throy: "sure, if you're offerin'........" *cssshhhh*
me: "well, i gotta make like a fetus and head out."
not throy: "uh, well, thanx for the beer."

and this one:

me: "oh, cool. you brought your guitar. that makes me smile. for a music festival,
i haven't seen many. peculiar."
also not throy: "yeah, i don't think i could've left it at home. i'd miss it. do you play?"
collide: (realizing that throy already knows the answer to that question, therefore, this
guy is not throy) "yeah, i've been playin' for a bit."
also not throy: (handing me the guitar) "here. give 'er."
so, i played him and his friends (another dude and two girls) a couple of songs,
then, i'm off on my quest again. i run into el jefe, who says:
"hey. troy's looking for you, and you're in luck. since he's close by, i'll take you right
to him."
so, i returned the flashlight to the two hot girls, and they leave to check out the
unity stage. a shame. we were heading to the main stage. oh, well. anywho, we
happen upon krause and the boys again and join them for a while. throy and i crack
them all up for a while, then it's time for spearhead. Michael Franti is a giant compared
to the group. we danced, sang along, smiled and ate more mushrooms, drank more beer,
and ran out fast.....throy left on bussiness. i run into locdogjr, who eats some mushrooms
with me, and asks if i can spare a beer. yup. let's go." we head back to new brunswick
where i crack everyone up for like an hour ("hand me 7 grams of mushrooms and tell me
i'm not funny...") while i pour 8 cans of beer into an empty "fruite" bottle. (ghetto 37)
a girl took her shirt off (i forget why) and when she realized her breasts were showing,
she stood up and turned around to get her shirt back on...

mickey d: (noticing the tatoo on her back) "that's a cool tattoo. that must have taken
a long time..."
collide: (noticing i'm still in prime viewing position) "i think you're breasts are really nice... the tatoo, i don't so much care for."

i then rant for a while about the glory and evolution of the goat and my marketing ploys
of how to make goat worshiping more trendy. (worshiping the very large goat, or the ginormous
goat, the goat handshake, etc) i had everyone busting guts. the prize here however goes
to rory for this line while freestyling:
rory: (noticing two people walking by our tents) "wait. hold on, i see two cute girls walking past. ...shit. one's a guy. i'm gonna kick my ass."

we take the fruite , now titled "ghetto cheese" (yeh, two meanings now!), back to spearhead and rock out for another while.
i enjoyed them immensely. after spearhead, we ate more mushrooms (alot more) and rocked
out to some dj's for a while. some shirtless dude with an accent and an obvious head full of
drugs came up to me and was talking (well, trying to talk) way too close to me.

greasy guy: "garble garble really good dancer. garble you should come garble garble"
me: "are you hitting on me?..."
greasy guy: (obviously trying very hard) no, garble. you're fukkin' cute, but i you dance good. garble garble, (loosing balance and wobbling) garble, over there up front. i'm with much music, and we want garble up front because they're taping this."
me: "okay, so what you're saying is that i rock ass, and i should go dance where
the cameras are......"
greasy guy: "YEAS! YOU ROCK ASS! GARBLE SHOULD dance..."
me: "i think i can make that happen. if i can't, i'll find someone who can show me
how to make that happen."
he hugs me and heads back toward the stage. (strange guys keep hugging me...what the fuk?)

*more mushrooms, rockin' out, ghetto cheese*

we switch stages a few times, wake some people up, infect them with our bad
influence and party for a very long time. the sun came up
i think about 2 or 3 hours before i passed out leaned on a fence. good times, good times.
heading back to my tent for more sleep with blanket and pillow, i saw a dude hit some
other dude in the nose. this was completely unprovoked. just a random guy walking and this
dude gets up, walks up to him and clocks him. (injury count 3...not too bad. none would
be better, but at least the tour didn't involve any horrible industrial accidents.)
a lot of blood, but no fight, as there were many witnesses to this and we rushed over fast
enough to stop any further violence. so, we told drunken frat boy to fuck off, and i left
again for sleep. one more sip of the ghetto cheese, and vibrant, colorful dreams.
skeptic tank drummer did not make it to evolve, so i leave him with this:

EPILOGUE:
Pimp Tea, Rory Borealis, Scout, and Mickey D are all fukkin' awesome cats to tour with.
i had a blast the whole time, with the exeption of my throat, (which still has not fully healed)
and i wish to thank them all for bringin' me along. and thank you all for reading my tour story.

oh, and in case i forgot to quote this from day 5:
locdogjr: "EVERYTHING IS FUNNY!!!..."

-Sleeve-